People have made the comment to me that I come across as ‘Joyful’ and full of ‘Light.’ Hmm …Interesting choices, I think to myself.
There have been times in my life that to be considered a person that exuded any essence of joy would have been unfathomable. I was in the throes of mourning the deaths of my only children. Just as there is no crying in baseball, there is no joy in mourning. Right? If I’ve learned anything in this thing called life, I know that it comes down to the choices we make. There may be little joy in mourning…but there can be much joy while mourning. I’ll explain.
Puzzled people have asked, “How do you survive having stood at the graves of your only children—and those of your husband’s only children, too?” It is as simple as this: I am not my story. I choose to rewrite my story as I stumble along. Blame, shame, and judgment against ourselves or each other serves no one, yet we sometimes weaken and become snarled in that scenario. Whether it’s the death of a loved one or traumatic change in your life’s situation, you can learn to stop the spiral and start to trust the goodness of Spirit. It takes effort and a sincere, maybe even raw, reality check.
Go ahead, fall down if you’re going to. The world looks different while lying on the ground looking up. I should know. I turned the corner of my sadness when a teacher walked into my life and I had the presence of mind to notice. It is said that when the student is ready, the teacher will appear. “Trust the process,” she tells me. Again and again.
I found joy while mourning because I have the memories of two beautiful boys that gave me the honor of being their mother. And in being that mother, how could I dishonor their legacy by never having recovered from their deaths? I do it for them. Every. single. day. It’s the choice I make.
I am here to tell you that joy is simply your Inner Light. The light Spirit innately gave you from the very beginning of it all. The illuminating light that shined within you when your children were born, when you fell in love, or even now when music fills your dreams. Be open to receive and honor your Light, your legacy of love.